Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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