fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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