You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
The adults are the big ones right?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
