Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
