I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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