That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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