Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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