He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
