HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
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