She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
