does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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