Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize