Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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