Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
