so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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