If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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