NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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