Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize