i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
