dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
