id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
