i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
only you would photoshop your dick
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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