so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
