May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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