Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
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