I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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