yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Randomize
