I cockslap morals
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize