Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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