And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I love you. Go after that dick
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
