that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
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