The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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