Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
So much Jack, so little girl.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I forgot wine drunk hurts
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