spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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