Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
