it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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