You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
