planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Boobs speak an international language.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize