You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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