I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
