end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize