My underwear smells like fireworks.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
