When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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