what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Randomize
