what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize