Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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