We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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