I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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