she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
