Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
