He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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