tell your sister to shave her snatch
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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