Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
