I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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