college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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