As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Randomize
