Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
