Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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