i jhust puked up my retainher.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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