Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
We're not piercing ourselves today.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
