He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
