I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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