That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Randomize
