i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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