if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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